Home sweet home?
I just got back from uni few days ago, and God, i do not feel like i’m home! Actually we just shifted house one week ago and this is the second time i stepped into this ‘home’, everything is new here for me, and may be i’m still not accustom with it. However, i think this is not the reason i do not feel like i’m home…
I’m just found out that i’m more accustom with college’s life in university. i mean, i can do whatever i want; i got my own study table/own bed; i met with lots of good people (at least until now i do not meet with someone that betray friends, thanks God), and more importantly: I got Freedom. i felt like i’m home in my college.
And for my home with all my family, i just have the feeling that it is just financially supporting me, that’s all. I mean, i do not share with them my personal problems at all, and rather i would talk to my friends. i’m afraid that there is one day where i do not have the feeling to go home anymore! At least for now, i’m not because i’m not financially independent.
So, is that good or bad? To become independent? or to become selfish?
I always have a dream when i was studying in secondary school, that is, to have my own study table and my own bedroom. i’ve had it now in my college, is that the reason i do not wanna go home?
Previously, there is many times i felt ashamed to talk about my family. you know why? it’s because i sleep with another three persons in one bedroom (my mother and my two brothers), it’s unacceptable for me. And there is many times when people asked to come to my house, i just refused them because i’m afraid that they will find out that i lived in such a small place, i felt ashamed for myself too. that’s why when i was studying in form 6, i kept on telling myself to work really really hard so that i can change my Life! i’m not succeed yet, still in the journey, long way to go…
i know i must change my perception so that i will feel the same way as other people, that is, going home is definitely better than staying outside. is that true? who knows?
September 4th, 2006 at 3:40 am
hmm..i guess i can understand la,i was once live in wooden hse at cheras..but still,now i dun mind tellin ppl abt tat la..u shld not feel ashame of ur family..althou i’m considerin movin out myself,hehee..go 2 my blog 2 noe y!http://irienaoki.blogspot.com
i noe u can do very well in ur future 1,jia you lo!
September 4th, 2006 at 4:29 am
wah u really feel like that ah… eh do u knoe that last time my small house also fit 7 ppl de. i also try like u b4. but for me it is ok b`coz they are my family and we dun hv choice. now i share the room with my brother. may be now u will feel like that but one day in the further sure u will miss ur home de
September 4th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
Mmm, well, the one thing i think that home should present to you is the family bonds that are forged during those years together. If that does not exist, then you really have not much of a reason to go home. I don’t really agree with the conventional thinking that going back home is better than staying outside; it depends on what the conditions and needs are, and one day or another, we’ll need to leave it anyhow, so that feel too bad about that! but what is most important is that you do not forget the memories cherished together in your home, and that you do not lose contact with your family.
September 5th, 2006 at 2:42 am
no need feel ashame ler,
do not care how those narrow minded peoples view on you,
if they don’t like they can simply get off, isn’t that is good? bad peoples away from u. For good peoples of course don’t care what house u live lor, as long as they only care u hv a good personality. Your concept of family quite weak lor, hope you can improve it someday. Family is always the most important, no matter how less you interact with family, family still the place where you growed, parents always love their children, but only they dunno how to be a better parents.
= )
September 5th, 2006 at 5:20 am
hmm … i kinda noe u felt dat way … but hey, do you know that you are one of the friends that i totally salute? I salute you for your hard work and dedication. Of course your personality as well. Remember how much patience you had when teaching me maths? I guess no decent people will look down on people. if they do, no point knowing them right?
November 16th, 2006 at 4:37 pm
Being a friend of you, I feel so shame on myself. I don’t even know you had such an unhappy past time before. Maybe you feel good when you are out of home. I feel that way either. Nonetheless, home, I mean the home with your family is the origin of yours. You felt nothing other than financial support from your family, maybe the bonding between you and your family has not been formed. Perhaps you should try not to prison yourself in a small room and try to allocate some times with your family. Studying hard to achieve your goal, nevertheless, is right doing. But, studying with the purpose of getting out of home is totally wrong. If your parent know you are studying with the aim of getting out, I guess they must be very sad though. You thanked God because of the absence of betrayal in your friendship. The same idea, your parent would probably thank God because they got such a nice son. Don’t they think in the same way? Again, think optimistically…..Good luck….