Passive
Life is unfair! Why the heck in this world there is rich people and poor people? And we are never given the same treatment whenever and wherever we are. i have known this since i was in secondary school. Rich people will only mix with rich people, they share the same interest, and they will become richer while poor people only will mix with poor people and finally they will become poorer or just remain the same.
However, nothing can be done to change the reality. Fate. It is fate that determines who we are. We have no choice. The only thing that can be done by poor people is: Work hard with your bare hand until the end of your life to become richer or just to make your life better, so that your descendent can enjoy life. Or else, the life of a poor person will always filled with sorrow.
i’m the victim in this. And that’s why i’m quite a passive person from the beginning until now. Since i was small, i liked to prison myself at home, not meeting up with my classmates, friends or even my neighbours. i do not want to share my sorrow with other people. i like to be in solitude. i do not have many friends in pimary and secondary school. And since i was small, i was taught not to have any entertainment after school. i didn’t go out to play games such as badminton, hide-and-seek, or even just hang around with my friends. i’m alone at home. My memory before the age of 16 or 17 is blank, nohting, it’s empty… If you ask me to revise back the memory at that time, i’m sorry to say i can’t remember a single special event that has happened at that time.
The world today is materialistic. Many times when people talk about the internet stuff, newest handphone, newest Hong Kong’s drama series, newest album released by a particular singer, newest fashion, haircut, i was quiet. Because it’s only with money we can afford to purcahse those stuff and the fact is, sadly, i don’t have. GOD, money! What the heck is money? What’s wrong with money?
And seemingly, all my friends share the interest that deal with money. How am i be able to mix with them? I have no knowledge at all on all those advanced technologies, fashioned stuff… How could i make friends without having the same interest? One of my friend said before: if you know how to play DotA, you may get to know lots of friend on the internet when you form a team with them, and the fact is, my family cannot afford to buy a better computer that allow me to play DotA at home(or even online), how am i be able to catch up with all those fast-moving technologies?(may be this is just a lousy example, but it’s the only e.g. that i can think of at the moment). i think i should move to kampung cause i will be more accustom with the life there. Pathetic.
However, fate remains as fate. Fate is unchangeable. In the world today, with all those advanced technologies, money is corelated. You can’t have all those shared interest without money.
Hiew…
The fact is, i must learn how to accept fate. Fate is neither my enemy nor my friend. But i must accept it as a part of my life. i need motivation. Motivation keeps me active. Motivation keeps me alive. Lives with whatever you have and as whoever you are. What’s the big deal if i live alone and then die alone? Again, teamwork and co-operation is of essential importance in nowadays society, i mean you can’t just live alone by yourself, ironic, huh? And hence, since i’m passive, i must learn how to express myself, esp. in front of public. Self expression helps promote images and impression of yourself in front of public.
Arrrrrgh… Where is my motivation? Where is my energy? Learning how to live is difficult. i’m now walking in a dark tunnel and hopefully there are hands that guide me along this journey, and finally there shall be lights at end of the tunnel.
September 7th, 2006 at 6:04 am
hmm … din noe dat u r the other version of me …haha !
cheer up pal ! i din noe u r passive til i read tis … u r in fact quite fun to mix wif.
September 7th, 2006 at 7:11 am
Ara, sometimes, you don’t have to know what they know to mix with them, listening sometimes is quite fun too…^^…are you that desperate to find a topic to chat with others? yeah, ppl will always talk about such things, but that doesn’t mean you have to know what they know to chat with them, there are other ways to have fun too, you just have to find those out by yourself…
September 7th, 2006 at 11:14 am
aiyo…dun b lk tht lahh…try to chat more wif them…not all of them r so hak yan zhang de…try to let them know more bout u…
September 7th, 2006 at 10:24 pm
Aiyor, what wind blow you think like that? 10% of fate was determined since you was borned, 90% of fate was determined by ourselves, so handle well your 90%. Not only you, my memory is blank too before my form6. But, in university i don’t think u r passive wor, u always be active come to our area to chat. Fate ar? bow to fate only make yourselves become motiveless, do u know u can change fate actually? If u able to change then u r successful and full of respect. Every is learning to live, 99% peoples r in darkness, so do not feel solitude = )
ohya, 4 years in uni for u to learn be better, all of us r poor as well, so don’t feel alone.
September 8th, 2006 at 12:22 am
u can break from that trap la.. just don’t fall into the rat race… that’s my advice..
September 10th, 2006 at 9:23 pm
u are indeed a passive person…think abt others who hav even worse life den urs!not to mention those in africa,but alot of kids in malaysia dun even know how a computer looks like..i think the keyword to happiness is gratitude..as chinese says “zhi ju cang le”..u’re blessed wif wat u ored hav,stop comparing!
November 16th, 2006 at 4:14 pm
Oh, poor likai, how desperate in life. Cheer up, guy. life isn’t as meaningless as you thought. I think I am of the same type with you but I never feel unhappy even though I have only a few friends. At least, they are the people whom I can share my happiness and sorrow with. Also, everyone has his or her own happiness and grief, I mean it is a normal cycle of life and it is what you need to go through in your entire life and you have to go on and on. Maybe you are true. Perhaps the world now is materialistic. The people of the same status mingle with the people of the similar type. Rich people, so what!!! They seem very happy all the time but actually they are empty in their life. Happiness is just a physical looking of theirs. Don’t bother them, as long as you feel not empty in your spirit, that’s all will do. Comparison makes somebody feel sad. What is fate? I’m sure nobody knows what it is. It is something abstract, unseen, untouchable, tell you, it isn’t real. You musn’t accept it. Instead, you should battle against it. Don’t ever feel your life is destined. God creates us, but He has no right to control our life. We ourselves with our bared hand to determine it and make a twist of fate. Having a positive thinking will make someone feels better, always think positively. Whenever you have problems, please let me know because I’m your friend, I look forward to hearing from you. Sending you a smile:), wishing you happy always.