10 days after the final
i just read the blogs posted by one of my fren..
"Emptiness of the soul", i kinda know how he felt bout life. u may find out, if u ask me what have i done after my final (10 days, i think), i could tell u that i can’t really remember. Haih.. it’s empty + blank + solitude + nothing meaningful.
Should i prepare the courses i’ll follow in next sem? should i go get a part-time job and earn some extra money? Should i call my old fren to hang out? or should i just stay at home and ‘enjoy’ being alone this whole holiday?
i do not know. i have no idea.
Hmm.. "i have no idea", this words may seem offensive to some ppl because many of us do not like those ppl who do not have their own thoughts, rite? Indeed, last time i used to say this words, however now i tried to avoid it as much as possible. Everytime when i wanna say it, i just forced myself to think and find out what suppose to be the reason that lead me to the particular actions or thoughts.
Oops.. ya, i think i should just look for the "passion" to live.
Once we got passion, everything should go easy. However, there is one thing that always disturb me, i never have the intention to call friends to go out together or even just give them a telephone call to ask for their recent lives. What’s wrong with me? i hate the selfishness of mine.
Just few days ago, a long-time-no-see fren called me to ask for my recent. And when she asked why i din call her after the final, i couldn’t answer! i felt guilty that why i never try to care for other ppl, including those fren who once a while very good with me. Hopefully i shall get the initiative soon enough before i lost all of them.
Haih.. i still have no idea how to deal with the emptiness that i faced right now, but i think i’ll get a job soon so that at least i do something that i think it’s meaningful.
