Get A Life

Hiew.. first sem has finally over and i would say: Hey, man! i enjoy uni life! i like all the friends i met, all the things i faced, the hostel i lived in and.. everything. Nevertheless, time flies. It’s just like a blink of our eyes and all became the past. What is left are just sweet memories.

i miss them all. i hope time can be stopped so that i can retain this moment of joyfulness.

Hmm.. after i entered uni, i really learned lots of things, esp. the way of thinking. i’ve found out that i was too childish once a while. i didn’t plan for future. Until this very moment, my future is blurred. i did not set targets for my future. Gosh! that’s shouldn’t happen. Although now it’s a bit too late for me to realise how important is planning for future, i shall seek the right path and the  meaning of life.

Before this, i never think of future, i never care what will happen and i lived in a life that is too easy. Even when i was filling up the form for entering uni, i didn’t think very very properly what i want (or, actually i myself do not know what i want). To understand myself is so hard, even now i’m not sure what i’m interest in.. i always take things for granted and i never really care for my own future.

However, from this very moment, i shall decide which junction i’ll take in the crossroad of my life and i shall learn to be independence too, not just physically, but mentally.

Actually i really wanna thank some friends that have motivated me to think in such a way. They told me their planning and the future they are looking forward. This has made me think suddenly that: "hey man! they are right. They have targets, but how about me? The ‘don’t care’ thought of mine shall evaporate. Start planning for future..

Erm.. there is actually another thing i wanna talk about..

i’ve found myself quite annoying sometimes. i’m not truthful and trustworthy enough in the process of making friends. i’m fake. Sometimes, i’m extremely passive. Sometimes, i did stupid things just to cover up myself, not letting other ppl to find out the real side of me. Sometimes, i laugh fakely (or shall i say, many times) just to pretend i ‘i agreed with them’. Sometimes, i’m selfish and do not care for other ppl feelings. Sometimes, i’m blur and i do not know how to break the ice between me and a stranger.

Sometimes, i hate myself. i hate this kind of me. i shall change the way of thinking and be prepared for every challenges.

i wanna say sorry to those i have hurt and think that i’m really not a good person to mix with.

so..

i must utilise this holiday well. Though my life before i entered uni can be considered blank, i shall make each and every moment from now on as colourful as i can. (".)

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 16th, 2006 at 10:26 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.